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Whether it is clearing off your desk, weeding old clothes out of your closet,
tidying up the cluttered garage - These are all forms of clearing out in the
material world, and, as the Feng Shui artists tell us, this is a very important
form of clearing.
If your world is cluttered, your consciousness is cluttered also.
Clearing out the spaces and structure of your life is a good place to begin.
Like that opening in the forest, a clearing in the material structure of your world will
create space for objects and events to come in.
It will also create a new sense of yourself.
When you look at a world in tranquility, you yourself will feel more tranquil. When you
look at a well-arranged closet, you will feel less chaotic.
When there's space to breathe in, you will feel happier about being alive.
The practice of always keeping and holding on to things is treating these things as
though they are more important than you are.
Taking care of them becomes your job. You become a prisoner of your stuff; and who
can keep up with it all?
Over-involvement with things is often how we compensate for something else. It is
always fear based. HouseWife Mafia wants you to feel free and know that
you are more important than your 'stuff'!
Clearing Your Consciousness
Even more important than clearing out your material world is the clearing of your
consciousness, your personal awareness, the way you think about yourself and your
life. These are subtle levels of clearing that provide room for internal growth and
change. When you do this kind of clearing, you clean up the ideas and attitudes that
clutter your unconscious, that have the capacity to torment you and keep you steeped in
feelings of unworthiness. You also clear your conscious mind, the way you think and
talk about yourself.
The first step to clearing your consciousness is to develop awareness. Maybe you
haven't noticed how much you beat up on yourself, how you always seem to approach
life from the position that nothing good will happen to you, that you're a loser. Perhaps
you've never paid attention to the nasty words that play over and over in
your mind. Until you notice what you're doing, you can't change it. Noticing
is the beginning of change. What has your mind been saying to you, and how have you
been responding? Do you agree with the self-damning voice, the one that says you're
no good, you'll never make it, so why try anyway-or do you put up a fight and argue with
that voice?
Clearing your consciousness is a conscious process. That is, you need to mindfully
attend to it. You won't feel clear simply because you decide you'd like to feel better
about yourself, or you wish you weren't so hard on yourself. Sometimes the process of
developing your awareness and shutting out the things that aren't healthy and helpful for
your consciousness can be assisted by a therapist, spiritual teacher, or witness. An
outside listener or watcher can often see you more clearly than you can see yourself.
He or she can help you identify the unkind words, attitudes, feelings, and habits you
need to clear out.
Bonita had a million ways of verbally beating up on herself.
When she got up in the morning she'd look in the mirror and say,
"O, my God," as if she'd just encountered a witch. When she looked in her closet to
dress, she'd bawl herself out for not having anything decent to wear. When she got to
work, she'd beat herself up because her desk was a mess, she wasn't accomplishing
enough. She wondered why her boss had hired her anyway-she wasn't smart enough
for the job.
The litany continued when she got home. She didn't know what to fix for dinner and she
criticized herself for not planning meals better. This went on until she went to bed-when
she condemned herself for staying up so late.
The nagging self-loathing voices were always the harshest when Bonita would lie
awake in the middle of the night. Then she would really go at it-recounting all her
stupidities and limitations, until she was beaten to shreds emotionally.
When she told me about her relentless voices, and we talked about her past, it was
apparent that her inner voices were the reruns of her parents' non-stop stream of
brutalizing commentary, judgment, and criticism: "Why are you so stupid; why can't you
ever do anything right? Who'd ever pick you for anything? Where on earth did you get
that outfit? Who'd want you for a friend? You look like a corpse, wearing all that
makeup." As Mara repeated this ream of emotionally devastating remarks, she fell
apart in my office. These vicious comments were so deeply embedded in her
psyche that for her entire life she'd done nothing but repeat
them to herself.
I suggested that since she already knew how to talk to herself, she could change the
content of what she was saving-keep talking, but say something different. The first thing
I suggested was that when she woke up in the night and the voices started taking her
apart she should quietly and firmly say:
"I'm not going to listen to that anymore." It was simple, and she did it. She reported that
it worked immediately. The negative, self-loathing voices went away. Then I
encouraged her to make a list of what she needed to say to herself to displace the
violent voices. Here's what she wrote:
I will only speak to myself with love, confidence, and respect.
I will only listen to people who reflect the best about me.
Living by these two rules has been a challenging Journey for Bonita; but
the more she repeats them to herself, the more she values herself, and the more she is
able to receive the praise that others express.
To support herself in this process, Bonita also used a simple behavior modification
tool-buying a circlet of wooden prayer beads she wore on her wrist. She would touch
the beads and say a sentence of self-praise after she made an unkind comment about
herself. This method may seem simplistic, but it is a very powerful way of re-grooving
mental attitudes.
It worked for Mara. It could work for you. You can re-script your brain!
tidying up the cluttered garage - These are all forms of clearing out in the
material world, and, as the Feng Shui artists tell us, this is a very important
form of clearing.
If your world is cluttered, your consciousness is cluttered also.
Clearing out the spaces and structure of your life is a good place to begin.
Like that opening in the forest, a clearing in the material structure of your world will
create space for objects and events to come in.
It will also create a new sense of yourself.
When you look at a world in tranquility, you yourself will feel more tranquil. When you
look at a well-arranged closet, you will feel less chaotic.
When there's space to breathe in, you will feel happier about being alive.
The practice of always keeping and holding on to things is treating these things as
though they are more important than you are.
Taking care of them becomes your job. You become a prisoner of your stuff; and who
can keep up with it all?
Over-involvement with things is often how we compensate for something else. It is
always fear based. HouseWife Mafia wants you to feel free and know that
you are more important than your 'stuff'!
Clearing Your Consciousness
Even more important than clearing out your material world is the clearing of your
consciousness, your personal awareness, the way you think about yourself and your
life. These are subtle levels of clearing that provide room for internal growth and
change. When you do this kind of clearing, you clean up the ideas and attitudes that
clutter your unconscious, that have the capacity to torment you and keep you steeped in
feelings of unworthiness. You also clear your conscious mind, the way you think and
talk about yourself.
The first step to clearing your consciousness is to develop awareness. Maybe you
haven't noticed how much you beat up on yourself, how you always seem to approach
life from the position that nothing good will happen to you, that you're a loser. Perhaps
you've never paid attention to the nasty words that play over and over in
your mind. Until you notice what you're doing, you can't change it. Noticing
is the beginning of change. What has your mind been saying to you, and how have you
been responding? Do you agree with the self-damning voice, the one that says you're
no good, you'll never make it, so why try anyway-or do you put up a fight and argue with
that voice?
Clearing your consciousness is a conscious process. That is, you need to mindfully
attend to it. You won't feel clear simply because you decide you'd like to feel better
about yourself, or you wish you weren't so hard on yourself. Sometimes the process of
developing your awareness and shutting out the things that aren't healthy and helpful for
your consciousness can be assisted by a therapist, spiritual teacher, or witness. An
outside listener or watcher can often see you more clearly than you can see yourself.
He or she can help you identify the unkind words, attitudes, feelings, and habits you
need to clear out.
Bonita had a million ways of verbally beating up on herself.
When she got up in the morning she'd look in the mirror and say,
"O, my God," as if she'd just encountered a witch. When she looked in her closet to
dress, she'd bawl herself out for not having anything decent to wear. When she got to
work, she'd beat herself up because her desk was a mess, she wasn't accomplishing
enough. She wondered why her boss had hired her anyway-she wasn't smart enough
for the job.
The litany continued when she got home. She didn't know what to fix for dinner and she
criticized herself for not planning meals better. This went on until she went to bed-when
she condemned herself for staying up so late.
The nagging self-loathing voices were always the harshest when Bonita would lie
awake in the middle of the night. Then she would really go at it-recounting all her
stupidities and limitations, until she was beaten to shreds emotionally.
When she told me about her relentless voices, and we talked about her past, it was
apparent that her inner voices were the reruns of her parents' non-stop stream of
brutalizing commentary, judgment, and criticism: "Why are you so stupid; why can't you
ever do anything right? Who'd ever pick you for anything? Where on earth did you get
that outfit? Who'd want you for a friend? You look like a corpse, wearing all that
makeup." As Mara repeated this ream of emotionally devastating remarks, she fell
apart in my office. These vicious comments were so deeply embedded in her
psyche that for her entire life she'd done nothing but repeat
them to herself.
I suggested that since she already knew how to talk to herself, she could change the
content of what she was saving-keep talking, but say something different. The first thing
I suggested was that when she woke up in the night and the voices started taking her
apart she should quietly and firmly say:
"I'm not going to listen to that anymore." It was simple, and she did it. She reported that
it worked immediately. The negative, self-loathing voices went away. Then I
encouraged her to make a list of what she needed to say to herself to displace the
violent voices. Here's what she wrote:
I will only speak to myself with love, confidence, and respect.
I will only listen to people who reflect the best about me.
Living by these two rules has been a challenging Journey for Bonita; but
the more she repeats them to herself, the more she values herself, and the more she is
able to receive the praise that others express.
To support herself in this process, Bonita also used a simple behavior modification
tool-buying a circlet of wooden prayer beads she wore on her wrist. She would touch
the beads and say a sentence of self-praise after she made an unkind comment about
herself. This method may seem simplistic, but it is a very powerful way of re-grooving
mental attitudes.
It worked for Mara. It could work for you. You can re-script your brain!
HOUSEWIFE MAFIA CURRENT PROJECT To provide 100,000 gifts of much needed and well earned comfort for our deployed troops. House Wife Mafia is partnering with Soldiers Angel to purchase cool scarves for our active duty military. Our goal is to have 100,000 donated by April 1st. That is when the temperatures start getting over 100 degrees over in the Middle East. This is an item the soldiers are really asking for. The total cost to have one shipped over there is $5 bucks. All donations are made directly to Soldiers Angels - a 501c3 Non Profit started by a soldiers mother so that no soldier would go unloved. They accept Paypal to make it super fast and easy for you. Together we really can make a big difference with just a small amount of effort. We hope you will join us to show the world just what we can accomplish when we work together! |
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